Do you consider yourself a fun, friendly and generally easy person to be around? But your colleague on the other hand always is bound to set you off. Is there a conflict between you, or are they behaving with toxins with everyone else too? You cannot ignore this and let it pass. So here are 5 traits in people that prove that they are toxic and need to be cut out of your life –
They will be Manipulative - When you invite a friend over, you don't have any ulterior motives. But when a toxic person asks you a question, they may be setting you up a trap. "Are you free for dinner tomorrow at 8?" will mean - "If you can’t make it for dinner tomorrow at 8, I'll be upset for a few days.” This approach is to get people to do what they want them to. It’s all about them. They will always use others to accomplish their goals. This isn’t equality in a relationship, but the opposite.
They Don’t Listen - Every good relationship, be it with a friend, a partner or your grandparents, is to be based on a healthy balance of sharing & listening. Toxic people miss that message. When you start to confide in a toxic friend (or tell him an anecdote), you’ll notice his attention drifting to something else. Before you finish your story, he will have interrupted you, changed the subject and wrangled the conversation back to himself, or to something that he finds more interesting.
Negativity – Even though several people can call their personality weary, some toxic people seem completely unable to enjoy any part of their life. When others share anything remote that makes them happy, they are met with cynicism & condescension. For example, a co-worker who sees that you’re engaged will make a critical comment about the marriage and talk about divorce frequency. Another is when a family member tells you that your weight loss is bound to not last long because “a diet never works.”
They won’t ever apologise – These people will make sure to lie before they’ll ever apologise, there is absolutely no point arguing. They’ll twist their story, make changes & retell it with so much conviction that they’ll believe their own nonsense. People don’t have to say sorry to be wrong. Just move forward, without them. Do not surrender your own truth but don’t keep the argument going either. Some people want to be right more than they want to be happy, and you honestly have got better things to do than give fodder for them.
Gaslighting is when a person makes you doubt your thoughts/feelings without giving a reason why. They will just say - “you’re wrong.” Someone’s emotional response to people or things is theirs alone and is a part of each one’s humanity. Feelings should never be belittled. If someone doesn’t understand your grief, it is fine, they don’t have to. But saying “you’re making too big of a deal out of it” is A-level toxicity. But if someone says, “I don’t understand what you must be going through, but I am sorry for your loss” is much more compassionate.
These were a few of the many toxic traits that a person might be having and with it, dampening everyone’s life around them. You can expect the second part of this article soon. If you know of any other toxic traits that people might have, do tell us in the comments below. If you found this article of any help, do visit the space for more such content!