How To Set Healthy Boundaries In A Relationship?

A healthy relationship means a partnership that is equal, liberal, understanding and one that respects the other person’s individuality. This applies for all types of relationships, may it be of mother-daughter, teacher-student, neighbours, all of them. Sometimes, out of love we tend to overindulge ourselves in a relationship and it ends up taking a toll on us.

1_1  H x W: 0 x
That’s why, healthy boundaries in any relationship are essential to maintain a balanced life. But not everyone is able to draw that line as they feel guilty or insecure about hurting the person in front of them.
But setting healthy boundaries doesn’t mean that we are trying to be selfish or demanding, it just means that we value and respect our individuality and setting certain limits in life.
Here are a few ways that one can effectively set healthy boundaries in relationships-
Know Yourself
The first and the most important thing before indulging in any relationship is to know who you are. Knowing oneself can take years, but when you do, you can rationalize what you like and don’t like and effectively communicate it to the person in front of you. Once you start knowing yourself, you start paying attention to what certain situations make you feel and that will help you in determining and side-lining an unpleasant experience.

2_1  H x W: 0 x

Communication is Key
No matter who the person in front of you is, talk to them, nicely. No one here comes with a secret mind reading device that they show in Bollywood movies where things just magically fall into place. Relationships take constant effort and to do so, effective, direct and considerate communication is very important. If you feel someone is going out of your boundaries, talk to them face to face and not via social media, because that’s another loophole. It really helps.

3_1  H x W: 0 x
Learn to Say NO
This is one issue that a lot of people face. They feel that if they say no, or reject something or someone’s idea, they are hurting them and subsequently tarnishing their own image. But most of the times, that is not the case. Realize that, saying no to something means you are not comfortable with it or in worst cases, it’s causing you harm. If you still go ahead and do something unpleasant in the fear of being judged, you are in turn creating an gap in communication which can lead to misunderstandings. And also, if you don’t say no at the right time, you are giving the person an opportunity to take you for granted. So, sometimes be the ‘No Man.’ Even Jim Carrey will approve of it.

4_1  H x W: 0 x
Set Consequences
Just setting boundaries is not enough in a relationship because we are humans and we can make mistakes sometimes. But if certain mistakes don’t have any consequence, they can become a habit. So, set certain consequences; it may seem harsh at the moment but for the longevity of the relationship, it’s essential.

5_1  H x W: 0 x
Give Respect, Take Respect
One has to realize that just like you have certain boundaries and you have your individuality, the person in front of you has to. Just like you have certain expectations and limitations, even they have the same. If you expect them respect your boundaries, you have to oblige by doing the same for them. Only then will you be able to maintain a healthy relationship and work through the ups and downs maturely.
-Shravya Kulkarni